


The Definition of 'Love'

by sanctuary_for_all



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-08
Updated: 2015-05-08
Packaged: 2018-03-29 13:36:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3898231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctuary_for_all/pseuds/sanctuary_for_all
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Walter has emotions. He just has a hard time understanding what they mean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Definition of 'Love'

Walter stepped back, eyeing the board in front of him with frustration. He’d started out with chemical formulas, the interaction of serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine, but the reactions had been too generally applicable to offer the insight he needed into this specific instance. He’d then tried to factor in various equations, weighing variables like amount of time interacting and significant versus insignificant conversations – though calculating which was which had been its own tangent – but it was all proving to be grossly inadequate.

Almost angry now, he erased a section of the numbers and tried again. Maybe if he looked at the timing of the chemical reactions with specific interactions—

"Are the numbers not agreeing with you?"

Walter jumped a little at the sound of Paige's voice, turning around to find her watching him with her arms folded across her chest and a soft expression on her face. He let out a breath, refusing to acknowledge the rush of embarrassment that hit him at the thought of someone seeing this particular problem. Of Paige seeing it, even though she would be the best person to help him solve it. "Something like that."

She moved closer, scanning the board. He was almost certain she couldn't understand any of it, but Paige had surprised him too many times to be sure. "What is it?"

Walter hesitated, weighing the benefits of seeking her help with the potential negative reaction to what he was working on. He would give nearly anything to feel less like he was fumbling through all this, but hurting Paige was not an acceptable consequence.

She turned back to look at him, her expression shifting into concern at whatever she could see on his face. "Is it something about Meghan?" she asked quietly. "Because she knows how hard you're trying, Walter." She moved closer, laying her hands against the sides of his face. "It takes time to outsmart pretty much the entirety of medical science."

He closed his eyes. Research on the biological effects of touch was specious, at best, but that didn't change the fact that he could already feel his heartbeat slowing at the contact. The tension in his chest had eased a little at the sound of her voice, at the tenderness and concern that had been directed so specifically at him. Only two small examples of the many things the numbers failed to grasp.

Walter opened his eyes, hoping she would understand. "I've been trying to quantify what love is." The words were only a breath, all he could trust his voice to manage.

Paige's eyes widened a little, then sudden sympathy suffused her face. "Oh, Walter," she said softly, pressing a quick kiss against his lips. "I don't think even you can manage that."

He swallowed, pulling away from her. "I _need_ to. Before you, I genuinely believed it was nothing more than a sociological construct, which means that my comprehension is desperately behind the curve."

"Walter...." Her voice was firmer now as she reached for him again.

He caught her hand, pressing a kiss against her knuckles. "I am _immeasurably_ grateful every single time I hear you tell me you love me, because I know that it means that you've chosen me. That you'll be patient with me, while I try to understand things that even stupid people seem to grasp instinctively. That you'll share Ralph with me, even though I have several failings as a father figure. That you'll let me be with you." His voice was raw. "But those are the effects, not the word itself."

She smoothed her free hand against his hair. "It's okay." Her voice was thick. "You show me. You don't have to tell me."

"I _want_ to." The words were fierce as he looked back up at her. "I want to give you everything you could ever possibly need. To _be_ everything you could ever possibly need. But love is ... immense." He gestured to the board. "It's complex, ever-changing, full of hundreds of different variables at any given moment... It's ridiculous. Absurd."

"Yeah, that's a pretty good way to describe it," she murmured, pulling her into a hug. "Ask any of the poets."

"Poets have no idea what they're talking about." He buried his face in her shoulder, breathing her in. He had never been comfortable touching people – it was an unnecessary social convention, in most cases – but with Paige he actively sought it out. Even the most casual touches from her steadied him in a way that biology simply couldn't explain.

"No one does." Paige's voice was gentle as her hand stroked over his hair again. "It's okay not to know sometimes, Walter."

His throat tightened. "What if I miss something?"

She went still. "What?"

He let out a shaky breath. "I would say the word 'love' is like speaking German, except the learning German would be an infinitely easier thing to do." He lifted his head, watching her eyes. "There are nuances I _know_ I don't comprehend, and one day you'll realize you can't do without them anymore." He kissed her, slower and more lingering, then leaned his forehead against hers. "I can't lose you."

Her eyes were wet. "If I need something from you I will tell you. There will possibly also be diagrams." She smiled softly. "I love the man you are, Walter, including the fact that you approach the world differently from anyone else. You won't lose me."

"Don't sacrifice for me." His throat was still tight, knowing he would be horrified at himself if he'd broken down like this in front of anyone but Paige. He trusted her with even the weakest, most fragile pieces of who he was. "I don't want you to have to accept less because you're with me."

"I haven't." She kissed his cheek. "I have a man who is driving himself absolutely crazy at the thought that he might disappoint me one day. That's love to me, whether you're comfortable using the word or not."

He just looked at her, awed and baffled all in the same moment. "That's hardly an adequate definition."

She just smiled at him. "It works for me."  

**Author's Note:**

> Come check out my weekly posts and original short fiction on my [blog](http://jennifferwardell.blogspot.com) or say hi to me on [Tumblr](http://sanctuaryforalluniverses.tumblr.com)!


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